November 2009
The Bird And the Bee - Fucking Boyfriend
I would...
Well Put.
Sister: Guys don't like girls who wear big jewelry.
Me: You shouldn't make sweeping generalizations across entire genders.
Sister: Well no guys I've ever talked to or met like girls who wear big jewelry.
Me: I dress to please myself.
Sister: It shows.
Not So Merry
Ugh. Oh my god, you guys. I went to this crowded craft fair today. It was cute and fun, even though most of the crafts only appealed to artsy grandmas and wacky middle aged women. Anyway, I simply can’t deal with the booths that have no customers. I am obligated to peruse their ugly bead jewelry or hand stitched pot-holders or whatever just so I don’t have to see them sitting there all...
Pink Martini - Brazil
when stars were...
Thanksgiving At My House
Mom: Ooo The Office. Everyone be quiet.
Sister: Here comes the part where they attach coke cans to their car, but the cans are still filled!
Me: I thought we were all going to hang out and talk?
Mom: Shhhhh!
Dad: Did you see that episode of Two and a Half Men where -
Grandma: Oh I love that show. That Charlie Sheen is so funny.
Me: Daaad. That's the worst show ever.
Dad: Whaaat. It's very funny!
Sister: And then he wears a toupee to the wedding!
Me: Hey, Diana, how about you ruin every joke in the episode?
Sister: How about you shut up?
Mom: *turns up the volume*
*Steve Carrell comes on screen*
Grandma: I hate that guy.
Joshua Radin - Winter
A song to break your...
“Sometimes people grow very large, but that’s abnormal.”
– Miracle on 34th St.
Lollipop (Squeak E. Clean and Desert Eagles Remix)...
Cornucopiawesome
Today I had this sudden desire to contribute to Thanksgiving dinner. Since I really can’t cook anything besides birthday cake from a box, I decided to whip up some of those M&M Rollo Pretzels (they probably have a name) that are all over the blogs because they’re pretty much Easy Bake Oven material. So that’s what I’m doing tonight and I’m very excited....
“Some rainy winter Sundays when there’s a little boredom, you should always...”
– Lisa Wertmuller
Rilo Kiley - The Good That Won’t Come Out
I...
The Very Long Day
Please explain to me how I can spend hours and hours reading blogs at home, but when I have a slow day at work and I’m forced to resort to the internet to entertain me, I become so mind-numbingly bored that I consider using the nearest stapler on myself in alarming and self-destructive ways? Is it because I’m standing up? Is that the reason I glance down at the clock, POSITIVE an hour...
Too Busy Being Awesome
You know what? Maybe I would go to the gym if someone would dress up in outlandish costumes with me while we went. Until that happens, I’m disinclined to leave my bedroom.
It’s just not worth it if I can’t wear my sequined leggings. (Life motto.)
Emiliana Torrini - Jungle Drum
Music made for...
Oh my gosh.
Can anyone pull off a vest like Joseph Gordon-Levitt? I think not.
Owl City - Hot Air Balloon
Owl City is what it...
The Next Morning
When the whole day is stretched out in front of you like an empty canvas (or maybe more like a big white duvet?), without responsibilities or commitments, it’s ok to relish the dull pulse of a headache.
When your bedroom is warm and just dark enough, and your hair still smells like an evening shampoo, it’s alright to enjoy the way it feels to quell the mild nausea with a glass of...
Andrew Bird - Heretics
Thank god it’s...
“It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or...”
– Oscar Wilde
In Which I Succeed At Dumbing It Down
I finally finished reading The Corrections by Jonathan Franzen. I wanted to like it more than I did. There were parts I enjoyed, but it didn’t really pull me in. I’d reread a good line here and there, but – and I say this fully recognizing that this is the winner of the national book award and I have no authority on the matter - it didn’t feel like there was enough of anything. As the story ambled...
The Gossip - Are You That Somebody?
cause...
1 tag
Down With the Moral Majority
I really wasn’t cool in high school. I know, I know, everyone says that. It’s almost a prerequisite for being considered cool now. (“Oh I was such a nerd. Always had my nose in a book.” Fuck off.) But I wasn’t even nerd cool. I mean, I did a some nerdy things like write a lot of poetry and hang out with boys who watched too much Lord of the Rings, but I didn’t...
distorte:
There is what you might call a honeymoon period with followers of my tumbler weblog. Initially everything is dandy. They “like” a lot. Almost every post, sometimes, or just anything I post without my face in it. After a couple of weeks this falls off, until I never see their name on blue again. I check in from time to time on the old one-way loves, and they’re still following me, and...
I'm Considering Dotting My "i"s With Hearts
We now have to write our names and the front desk extension (spoiler alert: it’s zero!) on the guest’s key packets when we check them in to the hotel. It’s all very Outback Steakhouse Waitress. I can’t decide if I’m more bothered by the cheesy practice, or the fact that people actually seem to like it.
More and more, I find myself using words like “gosh”...
1 tag
Take Out At My Mother's House
It’s the same way every time. My grandmother sets out napkins while my mom dishes out Chinese food. I sit on my chair with my legs pulled up underneath me, as if to remind them both that I am not a grownup. My grandmother pretends that she doesn’t know the names of the foods we’re eating and we patiently go over them with her - “General Tso.” “Egg roll.”...
Mad Woman
I feel sorry for anyone who has to sit through Mad Men with me while I constantly point out furniture I want. “Look at that chair! Look at it. Oh my gosh, that clock! Did you see it? That headboard is so great. So great.”
I seriously point out the headboard every time.
Get It On My Mind by DJ Zebra
Where Is My Mind...
“It seems to me that men rank you and pit themselves against you and wonder who...”
– My god, my god. This blog.
Chick Lit
Does anyone else feel that the little inspirational messages on the inside of Dove chocolate wrappers make one’s sense of Bridget Jonesiness a bit too explicit?
“Carve out a little moment for yourself today.” Thanks, Dove. I’m already sitting here in my bed eating chocolates out of the bag at 10 in the morning. I think I’m kind of through carving moments.
I Consider Myself "Adventurous"
At the age of 23, I am finally realizing the untapped potential for fun in grocery shopping. While I’m typically the kind of girl who likes to order the same boring thing on the menu every time (turkey club, no tomato please) because I don’t want to risk ordering something I hate (and I hate lots of foods), I am discovering that I am a wild, risk-taking beast in the brightly lit aisles...
