heylabodega:

Caroline created them for me a few months ago when we were hanging out at work and I had a date with a guy I didn’t know very well.  They are as follows:

—What’s your fave…

• drunk food?
• love-making position?
• swear word?
• name for our future child?
• cup size?

—How many…

• sexual partners have you had?
• at once?
• jobs have you been fired from?
• ladies have broken up with you?

—What would you say is your greatest relationship weakness and why?

—How much do you like me so far?

—What are the exact measurements of your penis?

She (I think) had no intention of me really using them, but at one point, feeling good about how the date was going, I actually pulled out the paper and explained the situation.  He enjoyed it and even answered a few of the questions.  I won’t tell you which ones.  The questions are less actual things you want to know on the first date, than they are a barometer of a)his sense of humor and b)his judgment re: which questions he should absolutely NOT answer.

I’m totally keeping them.

I feel like I should be embarrassed about this, but I’m not.