hidingundertrees asked: Are there definitive WRONG answers to any of those questions? Dealbreaker answers?
Absolutely. Let me take you through this:
Drunk food: dealbreaker is anything healthy. Fuck you if your favorite drunk food is celery. It’s not gonna work out.
Lovemaking position: dealbreaker is anyone who uses the phrase “make love” in earnest.
Swear word: dealbreaker is anything racist or homophobic.
Name for our future child: dealbreakers are many, but especially: ex-gf’s names, stripper names. Preferred answer: “what a hilarious question, as this is only our first date. I have many opinions about names, however the deciding vote will be yours as you will be the one giving birth in this completely hypothetical scenario.”
Sexual partners: dealbreaker - zero. I’m 25. I can’t be teaching you that stuff. If you’re a virgin, have the decency to lie to me and do a lot of research.
At once: it’s all fine as long as you’re willing to divulge plenty of interesting details. I’m just curious, ok?
Jobs you’ve been fired from: dealbreaker - more than one, I guess, unless you have a really good reason. Also a dealbreaker if the reason was that your boss was “crazy” or “asshole.”
Ladies that have broken up with you: no dealbreaker. I’ve broken up with plenty of great guys. It happens. I wouldn’t want someone to hold it against them.
Greatest relationship weakness: uncontrollable jealousy is probably a dealbreaker. Inability to manage your anger. Terrible hygiene? But even there, I’m willing to work with you.
How much do you like me so far: dealbreaker is any answer other than some variation of “LOTS AND LOTS”
What are the exact measurements of your penis: honestly, if you’ve held out being grilled this far, kudos. Also, I’d prefer you didn’t answer this question at all because I have to picture you getting meticulous with some measuring tape, and I know you all do it, but it’s not a manly image.
Thanks for playing, guys.
Editor’s note: The question list was a joke because we were bored at work. I would never actually ask these on a first date. Unless I was drunk. So, ok, some first dates. A couple of first dates.