Listen, I think you’re going about this the wrong way.

If you’re thinking that Valentine’s Day should be about anything other than eating chocolate and buying yourself fancy lingerie, you have clearly been misinformed. It’s about love, yeah, but not real love. It’s the silly, self-indulgent, guilty pleasure kind.

Things that a proper Valentine’s Day could include:

- you eat at least one really incredible dessert

- you experiment sexually

- you spend too much money on nail polish, false eyelashes, and candy hearts

- you read Pablo Neruda

- you compose Pablo Neruda inspired dirty madlibs

Things that a proper Valentine’s Day should not include:

- serious proposals of marriage

- blind dates

- depressing lyrics in your facebook status

- crying into your hot chocolate

So go ahead. Buy a bra that won’t fit under any of your shirts. This one’s from Top Shop.